Goals- October

OCTOBER: 
Well it's another month, and that means another excuse to "change" myself into another person, or technically, just upholding the morals that I have given myself for the past months or so!

Anyways, this post is pretty much based from a mini church discussion that I had a while ago; promises, and i realize that we, without thinking, make possibly to many promises to ourselves, other people and God.

I mean, really,
"I'm gonna promise myself that i'll do my homework after the next episode of this drama"
"I'm gonna promise myself that i'll go to gym so that i can work off the amount of food im eating"
"I'm gonna promise myself that i'll treat my family and friends right"
"I'm gonna promise myself that i'll read the bible everyday"

These are just some of the daily promises that i make to myself, but really, how often do i uphold them, or on a smaller scale- even attempt these promises. I mean, i see myself deliberately ignoring the daily 8 o'clock reminder for my devotion. I see it, and i put it away; something thats not acceptable for God, and even me now.

So here are some promises that, although i dont want to declare to the world- some of you may be good reminders for me and can possibly help me accomplish these promises.  (thanks in advance gois.)

1.) Read the bible everyday- its one verse, which would probably take me less than a minute, and its at 8 o'clock. Have to get to it again! No excuses!

2.) STUDY EVERYDAY- literally. Going to try and do one paper a day, starting from 10th of October- after my internals are finished. Legit need to get back into the habit, and one paper is the minimum that i'll have to do !

3.) Talk more- something that i've been avoiding for the past... few months. It was a gradual thing, and it's getting to me. I realised that im quite the boring one lately, and wow, i really need to get back to the old and cheerful Kenneth one year ago! So this is more than just talking more, its about being myself again- minus the bad things.

4.) Helping whenever I can- something that i have been doing for the past months- or so i try to think so... (sorry if i havent been helping out some individuals :/ ) This is something that i need to keep up, regardless of this whole "betrayal" thing that happened to me recently- long story short, got owned for trying to help a mate that i thought i trusted. So keeping in mind that as long as i'm doing what i can do to help, it'll be a lesson learnt for both of us.

5.) Being grateful- There's a blog post below that pretty much sums up this one. :D and  it applies especially towards my family. Oh, and if there is anyone that is reading this, please pray for my nana- not exactly in the best condition atm mentally somewhat, and its affecting me; I get angry at her for no reason simply because it hurts me seeing her like this. Praying that i could control my temper towards my family and friends more, and instead of being angry because i deeply care about someone, but rather i should be passive and calm about the whole situation.

So if there's anyone that would be kind enough to give me some reminders every now and then, much appreciated :) other than that, i hope that i could stop procrastinating at this very moment and get to my research- and hopefully achieve these goals by the end of the month- like they say, if you can do something for a month; it becomes a habit, vice verca :)

And i want to leave you with this verse-
"Whoever gives to others will get richer; those who help others will themselves be helped. A good person gives life to others; the wise person teaches others how to live. (Proverbs 11:25, 30 NCV)

Gratitude

So its been a while since i've last posted something, but i wanted to share with you guys a little speech that i had to do for English. :) Some parts of it is almost completely copied and pasted cause it was so well written on this other blog that I read, (sorry dont have the link) but thanks for that :) they are the paragrpahs with an *. 

Please take the time to read this, and hopefully, it can change how you view the world, and possibly changing lives ! :)

GRATITUDE

SO, I know for a lot of you guys here right now, we’ve really only just met, but I have a serious and personal question to ask you. What is that one thing that you’re truly grateful for?

I mean, when I had to ask myself that question, often what runs through my mind is that I’m truly grateful for all my family and friends that I have around me, simple right? But, in saying that, I know I don’t fully commit myself into cherishing those times with them, neither do I try my best to treat them right, or even show my gratitude to them for all the things that they have done.

You see, we live in a world of expectations and all these rules that just influences the way we think, and how we would act in situations. I mean, look at the media around us right?

Advertisements, music and movies; they all portray the idea of the “love” of our life, and we focus on this too much, where we start thinking too much about treating them right and forget about other stuff that we should be treating right too.  

I’m sure you’ve thought about this, or perhaps know some people that do this, you know, buying the special one cars, giving them hugs and kisses, licking their toes and all that other cute stuff, but what about the friends and family that we have, or more importantly, the smaller things in life that we should also be showing our gratitude towards. Now, I’m not saying that it’s bad to prioritize, or treat someone particularly great, but have we thought of sharing that love, or effort to maybe more than just ONE person?

I mean, I think, that... we take things for granted a little bit too often, you know, that phone that you chucked on the floor last week cause someone didn't text you back fast enough, shouldn't we be treating that phone with a little bit more respect, or with gratitude? I mean, it did cost someone some money right…? or perhaps, maybe that errand that you had to do for your grandparents when they kept on shouting out your name because they couldn't hear you scream back to them… shouldn't we be grateful that they still remember our names?

So instead of us complaining, let’s focus on something more positive.

Let me ask you, have you said thank you to someone to show how grateful you are for them today? Honestly, it’s a small gesture but I promise you, that it can have a huge impact on not only your life, but the life of that person too. How about this, let’s find little ways to incorporate gratitude into our lifes, and I’m sure that we’ll end up being much happier, with the loved ones around us being happier as well.

*It’s the ripple effect from a small smile that will make the world… or let’s think smaller, our community a better place; and with such a small action too! I mean really… saying thank you really isn’t that hard, but the words can lose meaning if they’re just words. We need to say them with sincerity, or show our gratitude through little actions.

*Can you imagine a world where everyone showed gratitude? If someone did you a kindness, you’d give them a warm smile and say thank you. If you were having a bad day, someone else would take time out of their life to comfort you; out of gratitude for a kindness you did them yesterday. Of course people would still get angry, or sad, but we would know how to find ways to be grateful, even in difficult situations.

*I know, I know … what do these people call me… oh yeah, I’m an idealist, and it is quite likely that this world will never exist. But that’s OK. I can accept the world as it is … and at the same time, show my gratitude for what a wonderful world we already have, and what wonderful people (such as you guys) are in my life.

Cheesy? Perhaps. I can be pretty cheesy at times, and I’m not talking about my smile or how I may smell and taste. But let me tell you: incorporating gratitude in my life (even if I’m not always successful at it) has changed me and has made me happier and I recommend this, and I want to remind this, to those who may have been taking a little too many things for granted, as well as for people who may be one of the most grateful ones out of us here today.

I mean, I truly believe that everything that we have in life is given to us as a gift from God, Mother Nature, whatever, but whatever God that we do believe in, we came from the same one, so let’s learn from the basics; treat others how you want to be treated.

So I’ve devised a little bit of a tutorial for us dummies out there. Cause I think often we get the wrong idea about being grateful. I hear a lot of people saying that they are grateful because they have a roof over their heads, or clothes on your back. But being grateful shouldn’t be dependent on the misfortune of others, but really, being grateful is about learning how to truly appreciate the little things in life.

So, first step.

SLIDE: 1.)Attitude, not environment:

So first step, or tip if you would like, is to remember that it’s your attitude that needs changing, not your environment. Personally, I think it’s quite important to actually show your gratitude towards someone. We’ve all heard the saying “actions speak louder than words” and I think to actually show you’re grateful to someone, involves more than just words of appreciation, but time to time, actions to show that you are grateful for them.

Honestly, this is quite easy and I’m sure it’ll make you feel better about making someone else happy right? For instance, making them some food; doesn’t have to be the best tasting, but I’m sure they know how much they mean to you if you go out of your way to cook for them. Or perhaps, a hug, or a friendly prolonged kiss and most people I know LOVE it , and for those who don’t, give them a little pat on the back.

Another way could be to get them gifts, could range from buying a small rock; you know, those expensive little things that women in general seem to like to something that means something special to you guys, or maybe shout them a drink, etc; or, personally my best suggestion, maybe dedicate some quality time with them, or sending them a grateful text message. But remember, this can be anything!

But don’t be fooled by this. I don’t mean be grateful for getting something, but rather be grateful that you have them in the first place.

I mean, I’m sure I won’t be the only one here that hears from others that they are feeling happy for getting something, whether it’s a girlfriend, a car, a job or money etc right? But, I reckon, to be truly grateful, is very closely related to being content, which means changing your attitude towards materialistic things and the environment around you, and instead focusing on the attitude you have within you. And this leads to the next point.

SLIDE: 2.) Don’t compare yourself:
Say for example, you see your friend’s friend giving them presents; their way of being grateful, and your friends just don’t seem to do anything. STILL, be grateful for them, regardless of what they are doing, even if your friends are backstabbing you, literally or not.

And even though you should be grateful of the clothes on your back, and the roof above your head, I think we should know that there is a difference between being grateful of this because you actually are grateful, and being “grateful” because there are some unfortunate people out there that don’t have this.

Like, I think the funny thing is that we only see people at face value. Their personal lives, thoughts, feelings, we know nothing about. The girl with the pretty face? Could be facing eating problems. The guy with those rock hard abs? Suffers from an injured back. That perfect kid getting all the best marks, teacher’s love and classmates’ adoration? Could be suffering from insecurity issues or other problems.

So if you were to compare, compare all of your life, the good, the bad, the ugly, and lets not just put ourselves or others down simply based on what we see with these eyes (point to eyes), and not these eyes (point to heart).

If we see that others may be going through different things, good and bad, then it gets a little easier to be grateful for the life and the struggles you have, because at the end of the day, that’s the only part of us that we can directly change. No one else’s life, but our own.

And lastly,

SLIDE: Appreciating what you have, regardless of the situation:

This is the hard part, in truth. When things go wrong, when we’re not happy, when people are mean to us, when we are worn down by the million slings and arrows of everyday life … we don’t want to say thank you. But in truth, this is the time when it matters most. When life gets you down, when you’re hurt, angry, confused or frustrated, take a moment to stop.

Close your eyes and find things to be thankful for. Your health, your family, your job, the roof over your head, the fact that you’ll have a next meal, the beauty of the world around you, the good people in your life, your new computer. Whatever you can think of, be thankful for them … and express that gratitude somehow.

Realize that all is not bad in this world, and be happy for that. And then, when you’ve mastered that skill, think of the negative things in your life … and give thanks for them. That person who was mean to you? Thank them for teaching you patience and understanding. That dog that tore up your trash? Thank him for teaching you humility as you pick up the trash. The natural disaster you went through? Thank it for reminding you of what is important in life. The illness you are going through? Thank it for making you stronger.

So I want to leave you guys with this. A great man once taught me "Gratitude need not depend on the misfortune of others, the comparison between non-equals; but rather the simple fact that in this moment . My next breath can be my next." - Yours truly, Kenneth(+a great friend of mine; Isaac)  ;)

Thank you. 

Dear 13 year old self.

Well, haven't blogged in almost years, but hey, i had my reasons. Anyways, to start off this blog, this is almost a quick life summary in the span on 1000 words, where did i get this idea you may ask? Well, to be honest, it was a homework task that was given out at last year, called, "dear 13 year old self" and recently, after tutoring a friend and asking them to write this out for me, it made me go through what i had written originally last year.

To my surprise, i wrote some stuff... that, i guess i am surprised that i had wrote. So, i was thinking of doing a round 2; dear 14 year old self, to explain maybe just some of the things that may have happened to me over the past year, as well as expressing new thoughts that i may hold.

so here goes:

Original Dear 13 year old Self.

Dear 13-year old Kenneth,
You are probably just starting in high school, not knowing what to expect and taking everything as a joke. As your near to be 16 year old self, I would like to tell you that though you should enjoy yourself with the first two years, remember to also get the merit-average grade on your report; something that I did not do and has scarred my record of “looking good.” But regardless, you still look good (haha) and there is nothing wrong with getting a few achieves and not achieves here and there. 

Please fix up the way you appeal to others,
You probably have long hair right now, with everyone thinking it looks “awesome” but  please, do yourself a favor and cut that overgrown mushroom that you have into something that looks smart and preferably something like your brother; short/medium styled hair.  Remember to also fix up on the way you dress, this is how you appeal to someone, stop wearing oversized t-shirts and baggy jeans; you look homeless. Remember you also have to change the way you act, being happy and over energetic is good how you are now, so keep it up, and remember being kind is also important, but don’t be too nice for your own good or people start to take advantage of that, trust me on this one.

People around you are important as well,
Right now you probably have a few girlfriends, but remember to never “play” a girl, it is not “cool” and you will earn a bad reputation as “the player” have fun, but stay out of trouble. Your current friends also start to drift off and change, so don’t get too attached to them but stay nice. Oh, and in half a years’ time, you will also meet your best mate as an international buddy. Be nice to him, remember to not leave him in the changing rooms for someone else to take him to class, take care of him as he ends up being there in times no one is else, and in general, please remember to listen to other people’s opinions.

Your grades
Will be quite bad compared to the class, but don’t worry, try harder now while its easier, but if you cannot make it, don’t worry; you catch up in a years’ time. Make a good impression by doing good work and paying attention… oh and don’t worry too much about how you dance or do your drama, it’s about fun, and if you make mistakes, you can learn from them and this builds experience, and in saying this, keep dancing, it'll get the ladies sometime down the road.

2 years down the track
You will have short red hair with one side shaved. You will be a lot skinnier and you are living in a tougher society. Just remember to stay on track and just try your best, be bothered to do your work and just have fun while you still can, and remember to not give up on guitar; learn while you still have spare time. J

Your 16 year old self,
Kenneth.

____
Dear 14-year old Kenneth,

So, it has been a year in college already, how was it? I'm sure it would have been a lot better assuming you took the advice that i gave you ;) I would like to tell you now, that alot of things has happened to your 17 year old self in the past year, you, or I have changed... perhaps a bit too much; a bad change... maybe, but perhaps the good outweighs the bad. But lets not get into that just yet, a few pointers first! 

How you appeal
You made accidents, you went bald last year and now you have short hair, for the better! Dressing wise, kicked out most of the clothes you wore when you were 16 too, and replaced it with relatively more simple clothes; much better. As for puberty, well lucky you, it hit you just as you were about to leave college; almost entirely on the creation of new pimples and on the widening of shoulders. 

People around you,
Well, long story short, but almost all the friends you have right now? Well, forget about the whole "best friends forever", this might sound sudden compared to what i said last year, but things have almost turned entirely upside down for you. The "best friends" that you did have are now nothing but people that you once knew, "things change" and this doesnt apply just to you. You're friends leave you, for many different reasons; mostly out of your own control. You'll fall into an almost depression like state; you'll be constantly sick and tired, your grades will turn from E's to Ns, with your friends constantly "betraying" you, and almost no one being there when you needed it most. So enjoy your time with them now, because in the end, you cause most of the things that happen to yourself... be a bit more cautious.

On the other hand-You're new closest friends consist entirely of people who you wouldn't have expected, some might be closer than you think, and more common if you think. Cherish them most, because this time, i honestly see them as the ones to "be there." You are lucky to have met these people, and i believe all things happen for a reason.

Family,
Not the best at the moment; also out of your control. Treat them with respect and gratitude, because they are the ones that looked out for you when you were all crawled up in your bed, with no one else to turn to. They love you, regardless of what you do, much like what you should do. 

Grades:
Although you are slowly picking them up, i recommend you to take English based subjects due to the fact that you start to go downhill with any math related problems in year 13, simply because you lost it. Biology will be your friend instead of chemistry, remember that. 

Opportunity Cost:
So in the end, remember everything comes at a cost; the next best alternative forgone. And all is not bad, regardless of how bad i make it sound. The friends you lost? Well, they made you into a stronger person. You've quietened down but thats fine, sometimes keeping things to yourself is the better option, and they opened the path to meeting the true friends that you had casted away this whole time, as well as the opportunity to meet the friends that would help and understand you of all the things you went through. Lastly, they opened the gateway to your relationship with God. You've been given the chance to use your talents and gifts through a positive way to help others too- this i leave a surprise for you. The relationship has grown, and you have picked up many morals that He wanted you to learn and hold.

The end:

So remember the thing i said about everything happens for a reason? Well, i'd like to think, or should i say i know that God planned this for me, and I'm grateful for that. Regardless of the pain that i had to go through, i know you will be able to overcome this with more preparation than what i had been given. This has given you new ways on how you should treat your friends, and knowledge on how you can help others by influencing them to think the same way.

However, there is one thing that i want you to work on. This quote, is what you live on almost everyday, following the speech you had made. So I would like to end it with this, keep it with you, and apply it with you now that you know the end. Maybe, just maybe, you can change what may happen to you and others.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

-C.S Lewis.

From your 17 year old self:
Kenneth Wong.

April

So pretty much its been a month(?) since i have blogged, and i thought i'd do a sum up of this months feelings (copied from Chelsea) through photos and do a thank you post at the bottom ! Whoop.

lets get to it.

Went fishing in the easter holidays :)

Rachels Bday!

Eatin. Eatin.

Realized just how much I have changed over the years!

With da Wong; badass.

spent a whole day just eating and eating !
have to say the best day out of my holidays!

And yeah, thats pretty much it. Yeah, boring right? Cause my holidays have pretty much been consisting of two things; gym and work. I literally wake up at 10, go work, come home at 3, go gym, go dinner, hw etc sleep. Life sucks/boring whatever- same thing. AND- i didnt even accomplish much this holiday; (the hw bit was a lie) I hardly studied, my internals? Yeah, left them and even procrastinating to this moment of writing a well thought out blog. Amazing what we do to avoid homework huh? 

Well, to finish up, i guess i'll do a thank you post :)

And to be quite honest; this is more of my thoughts i guess for this one. 

Sometimes, i feel like im running around in circles, things never seem to get better, and when they do, its only for a short period of time... its like a spiral; the loop repeats- but it swirls down into something that gets harder and harder to fix.

I look at myself, i see the bad, and i see the good; i have changed alot (as shown in the photo above haha) both in the inside and out, well, so i think.

And the hardest thing to say about this friendship, is that we are still friends. I mean, are we? Maybe, i'm thinking too much, maybe i AM expecting too much... but i mean, everyone wants the best right? Maybe this is the best i was looking for, something we had before? 

Lately, the word "forgetting" has lost its meaning. We said we would forgive and forget, and tbh i've done my best- i dont bring up the old things and just try acting if i never knew him; acting as if we met for the first time, and hes the one that suggested it, start again- talk casually and try to be happy again.

But tbh, its not working. The instant i give him a chance to see if he will atleast try to tell me what hes doing for the day, actually fixing the loose ends; it backfires and created this large gap between us. And tbh, even he said he doesnt care; and it makes me look like the "bad person" 

So i guess, this post is more for myself; any explanation that needed to be done on my point of view that really no one knows about; Im trying, im accepting my wrongs, but honestly  there is only so much i can handle when he is doing the complete opposite of me. Lately, he's expecting too much from me; to not expect that i should be getting a text from him to see if he is coming home for dinner, (im his homestay for Gods sake) and that i cant even make my own jokes without "caring" how he feels.

And honestly, as everyone knows, i can be quite rude-funny. Quite mean actually, i do admit that. And he cant take it..? I do annoying screams which has been a habit, (AHH) but he gets all moody and gives a big sigh "I told you, i hate it when people scream."
And I have to keep my thoughts in, "I hate it when people text others when im talking to them. I hate it when people play GAMES when im talking to them. I hate it when people dont look at me in the eye when i talk to them." These thoughts, are mine that i keep, and i've shared. 

These are manners, and he cant uphold them; yet he complains about something i do when im bored.
Playing with something else when you are having a conversation is plain rude sorry? Unless, that person is legit going to die and kill themselves, i dont see why you cant give 10 minutes of talking time.

(im getting aggressive yes.) Its just that.. its arrogant that you think you are Mr.Perfect when there are so many things that we all have to fix. You cant even take criticism and try to change for the better.. so really.. what gives you right to tell me to improve.
"Christian" huh?  

But aside the anger (Can go on.) There are were good things too. I mean, this was why he was my best friend after all. This post is to remind me, to REMEMBER the GOOD things about him, they are worth keeping. It is to keep pushing myself to try, even though everything is not going anywhere at all...

So heres onto the thank you post. But lets start off with a little photos; the times when we were both immature; and even when we were matured, how we still managed to be goofy and enjoy the time we had together. These were times when i guess we really were best friends huh!?

Back all in 2010' you were a loser, and i somehow was your best friend cause of that!
This is where it all began as best friends- always watching movies with Jess and talking shit; all that !

DERPIN. Matching jackets HAHA. accidental for all you guys thinking we are gay.
Always bumming and making jokes back then `2011

Retards.

I forgot for whatever reason why we took this but yo. Its here.
reminds me of how close us 3 used to be too! DMCs on those stairs huh ;)

I was sick as on this day  ! And you were there at my house to make me food and all that !
Shot bro ! I'll remember those times !!

Just cut of all my hair, looking derpy as.

Going on our runs back then ! Me being a douche as usual and even though it was for other reasons..
(you never did have bros>hoes (not that she was one) ) But guess i was too dumb to realize it back then.
Different morals. period.

Before you left to HK ! 

IN HK. Kinda look similar here actually.
Brothers?

Here too ! Losers.

OH AND HERE TOO. WOW.

Finally came back ! 2012.

Still enjoying our craziness back then ! Peak time?

IDK... cant explain. We were weird.

Still did "gay" and retarded as stuff back then.
(kinda miss my hair here)

Used to do this to you in the morning. LOL
Point is, make me food.

I helped you turn from single to not on this day. Also. lost my two sources of happiness.
Good job on ruining your life from here.

Ballin`

You were still the retarded one doing all the stupid stuff back then huh?
Meanwhile, look at john and his sexiness.

Wendys bday!

I was beyond dead.

My last photo with just me and you derpin. The 2nd day you came back to NZ 2013!

BEST FRIENDS 2010-2013.

2013 card for the homestay.

Thank you Kelvin: Honestly, from enemy to friend, to best friends.. where do i start. I always looked at you as my little brother, regardless of the difference in our age gap; i dont know, it just seemed reasonable seeing you always had a baby face haha. I love how me and charles used to gang up on you, when you were considered "gay" and even to this day haha. I still remember when Sam Kim came to our class in year 10, and you and Hayden started hating on us cause i excluded you; my mistake ! Anyways, thank you for just listening to me when i actually needed someone to be there- you can probably save lifes if you actually listen like you used to and give advice bro ! Thank you genuinely caring when i was sick and needed to be a little disabled kid; where you made me food, got me water, reminded me to take my medicine; all those little things. again, saved ma life g. Thank you for the laughs to entertain me endlessly ! Thanks for letting me be the first you opened up to ! Thank you for also teaching me all these little neat things.

In general, thank you for being my best-friend, my brother, my family.

you were worth every penny.

i miss being family.

Easter

Well, this is actually something i was planning to write about since Good friday, which... is only last week, but hey! I was busy aite? ;) Anyways, i finally got round to having time to share what i got up to on Good Friday.

Well. pretty much, I went to church, and instead of your normal youth where we get a little sharing about life lessons etc, we had some proper alone time to reflect on what we have done, how we are, whats been happening. AND, well, it was actually quite nice; when you're given a pen and paper, for 2 hours, you cant help but do what you are actually told to do, and i ended up scribbling quite alot of thoughts on that piece of paper. And here I am, to share with you guys what i wrote haha; something thankful :)

Well; While reflecting, i've realized that i've been distancing myself from God, its been ups and downs, and i somehow always seem to have an excuse to force myself not to go youth; perhaps it was this hate i probably had towards the church; all that judging that they put me through, yet they are the ones that preach about not judging... and it was. But this was not just their fault, it was mine. I should have forgiven them, like God has forgiven me for all the wrong that i have done. This was when i started to finally realize again that youth is not just about the people, its about God. So instead on focusing on all these problems and things that run through my head, i should just go to church; not so i can socialize, but be in a place where there would be little distraction, and where i can fully just let myself out to God.

And throughout that night, the message that i received from God was just a simple one; to forgive everyone that you are resenting, hating... whatever the cause may be. And to be honest, it was easier said than done, but hey; I fully just let him take over me that night, and i did my best; talked to those i have once held a grudge at, talk to those who i have not spoken to for long periods of times, and just have a good time; the satisfaction of truly loving everyone once again.

So i thought i'd just write a little something for those (just some, wait for post two guys :) who have encouraged me through the tough roads that i have been through, when no one else had seemed to be there for. You guys were/are my inspiration, you guys have changed me for the better, and each have taught me something that others couldnt. So thank you.

Thank you Aimee: This little girl (lol), probably doesnt know it, but has helped me stop doing much of the things i had done before. Those moments i once had with her were the reasons why i kept smiling and laughing randomly at stupid times by myself, and they still are sometimes. They're stupid, and i really miss our immaturity; when we could just start to laugh by having a laughing contest; like, who could laugh the loudest kinda thing. You've listened to my crap i have had to say to you for a long time, and i thank you for it, even though it was during our stupid math lessons where we didnt learn anything; it was one of the best times i could ask from you; those stupid questions we had, they brought joy to me. Thank you little one; my childhood friend, my sister.

have no idea how to rotate, but yo. 2010 for you LOL.

Thank you Gary: This goi, tank as now. He was the one pushing me to meet God, and giving me opportunities that some people never gave me. He showed me the ropes in becoming a Christian; giving me rides and all that so that i can attend church in the first place. I thank him cause hes the one that taught me to open up to others as well as letting me realize the talents that God has given me. He had inspired me by wanting to be a youth leader when i first met him haha, the thought of being able to help others meet God was just an inspiring idea. Thank you for being the one to listen and give me honest opinions; those constant reminders and little mockings you give me, looking after me in HK and all that ! You were like the first older brother;family that i had in Church that genuinely cared. Thank you my leader, my teacher, my brother.

Leaving photo with the gary chan.

Thank you Rachel: Energetic. Yes, i think that is the word. You were the girl i started to talk to in year 10, and in year 11 when we started to actually get to know each other properly and began our best-friendship(wonnngs.) Thank you for encouraging me through the tough times i had come across with people. Thanks to her, i became a better person through the constant nagging and honesty that she had given me about my character. Your smile honestly lights up quite alot of peoples faces as well, so be sure to keep that smile there, and please, keep encouraging me :D i need it ;) Its the best thing i could pretty much ask from someone (that or food) You;ve been keeping me happy and attended all those partys together ;) that pretty much made us not get invited to anything in the future cause we keep gapping. HAHAHA. Thank you for genuinely caring for me as well, you're probably one of the few that could actually read me like a book; knowing if something is wrong before i could even tell myself it was wrong. Thank you for all the times we have spent together; like back in the day when we went out countless times with John,Helen and Andy and even now, when you are helping me out with problems; whether it be about friendships, relationships or even chemistry (har har, very funny) it has taken me a long way from how i was before. You have made me a better person that what i was, alot better, and thanks for making me understand others a whole lot better too :) Thank you my best friend, my other Wong, my sister.

wow this is old. BEYOND OLD. WHAT WAS I WEARING. SOMEONE EXPLAIN HAHA.

and lucky last post for tonight 

Thank you Chelsea: Amazing. Probably one of the most influential people that i have personally came across that has made me want to actually meet God properly; as i have seen the work that has been done through Chelsea so thoroughly; from a girl i originally did not have a great impression on; to one of the most wonderful people that i know of; being able to give the best feedback regardless what situation it is; even if she hasnt been through it. Her undying hope for God and her genuine care she has towards everyone; noticing the best of someone, even with all their flaws. Thank you for showing me these things; as i am slowly picking them up for myself too :) Thank you for giving me the opportunity to do worship with you, pushing me so that i can experience God so much; honestly, it has got to be one of the best experiences of my life, and i would give anything to try it again. Thank you Chelsea, you are probably one of the big reasons that i keep a big grin on my face everytime i listen to one of those songs you send me :P Thank you for being one of the first few younger people i talked to and attempted to help; with you encouraging me to help others as well. You also showed me the talents that i have been given from God, thank you for showing me it, and i'll do my best to do it in a way i serve Him well. :) I remember when we started hanging out properly; the awkward first few meetings with Steph ;) but eventually turned well :) Thank you for inviting me to your birthday, even though we just started talking and starting to know each other better :) I wish you the best for the future. Thank you my psychologist, my overseas best friend, my sister. 

what cutiees. you looking fabulous as always :P

Anyways, i think i'll be doing more of these Thank you posts. They seem to make my day, and i hope they make others too :) and finding all these photos are really nostalgic arent they haha. :P 

Anyways, nighty nights guys :)

 

Catch-up.

So i havent blogged in a while, and this is actually cause i have SOOO much assignments and all that to do, that i actually just forget and cant be bothered in a while. But hey, look, i found time now, so this is pretty much what i've been up to for the past few weeks or so.

Well, tbh, i havent been the best for the past few weeks, stuff happens and i think we get the idea that it isnt good haha. Well, mainly cause i know that alot of people; especially my "supposedly close friends" are judging me over things that they dont have the full story of. In general, i have been treated quite shitly from some people and idk, i dont really care? But at the same time i do, like... it sucks that people instantly believe others without confronting me first. They think that others are going through a tough time; much worse than what i am going through, but trust me, if you atleast bother to try and see how im getting through things, you'll see that maybe things are just a little bit different.

I've been stuck on who is actually my best friend or even, a true friend for the past few weeks. Much of them seem to just bitch on me when they have the chance, (i must be such a fun topic huh? HAHAH) without realizing the wrongs that they also commit to as well. Tbh, i dont mind people talking about me, as long as they confront me about it to me afterwards, i mean, are you too scared, as my friend, to tell me what you dont like about me? How can we even call each other friends if you are petrified of seeing me. I mean, you guys say i cant accept your flaws and i should learn to deal with it, but bro, if you cant accept mine; my temper, my dull face when im tired, then bro, why should i accept yours? Actions show alot more than words, you're getting attitude from me? Tbh, you should think of what you did first, i dont normally give people attitude first unless they did shit to me first. So actually think from my perspective you douche heads.

Stop judging me if your own morals are to not judge. Know the full story before you come to conclusions. And frankly, if this is your way of trying to fix things; such as being cunts to me, ignoring me, giving me attitude, not telling me anything at all, bitching about me, then uhmm, dont expect much from me.

Sorry, i just realized i had a huge rant, but holy. It really gets to me, since im such a "bad influence" and i seem to just kill everyone huh?
"Christians" they call themselves huh?

birthday.

sup guys, and as some of you guys may have known, my bday just passed recently (background cheer)

AND, as a result, i was gonna aim for some goals this year, after my bday, hopefully LOL.

FIRST OF ALL :)
Forget all the shit that people have ever done to me, this may be being a rude cunt, a dick, whatever LOL. Forgiven :D cause thats what God wants us to do.

2ndly, aim to be a happier person and stop snobbing people :)
3rdly; talk to more juniors lol. why am i so anti-social. some of them are actually pretty cool people.

4th, be a better role model; improving myself as a whole.

ANYWAYS :) AND HERES A SUMMARY OF MY BDAY :D

I loved it :)

I think it was honestly one of the most best-est bdays i've had haha. Although there could have been many improvements, overall i think it was good ! Didnt get sleep for the whole weekend, and ended up with only around 12 hours to set up the whole thing with food etc. SO! it went well, kinda HAHA.

Got like, good presents and i loved them all haha; got tops, dress-shirts, condoms, food, AND an IPHONE 5. (EVERYONE JUST SCREAM YAY)

Honestly, did not even expect that at all. kinda came at me, like  9/11 ; it was unexpected(but thats not racist) and ! have to say thank you to all my mates that came and got me all this honestly. Made me feel shit loads good about myself haha; kinda like, putting all the effort to make this for everyone to get a good time, and to just feel good that talking and listening to people can actually mean stuff for some people :)